I am furiously working towards that mean goal of 100 miles by Christmas. FURIOUSLY! Today I ran 6 miles, yesterday was 4.5 and the day before was 6... told you I wanted it! haha! I still have just under 30 miles left. That is a LOT of running to be doing in the next week!
Now for what this post is really about. This 100 miles means more to me than simply accomplishing a goal. It will be the first time in my adult life (other than my wedding) that I have put a physical goal out there... and not stopped short. I have trained for four or five half marathons and never made it... I have started my run to walk program so many times I don't want to admit, and rarely keep it up through the whole thing... even with my wedding... I only kept it up for 2 months after the goal, then I quit. I QUIT. I don't want that anymore. I want to be so on fire by the time Laura pops that kid out, that she can't keep herself on the couch for those 6 weeks after giving birth. I WILL finish this goal, and I WILL finally run a half this year! I WILL.
Now for my fear. My body is soooooo tired from working so hard to fit in the last of the miles. That is my fault and I already have an active rest plan for the weeks between Christmas and when my training for the half starts. Also, I think The Boy and I are getting sick. Unless I have the flu, I am still running, it means that much to me. No stupid cold is going to keep me from winning.. that is all I can say! I have a sore throat and The boy fell asleep a full hour before naptime after only a 5 minute car ride! WHAT? He usually does that when he is getting WELL from being sick! haha! So... here I am, so close I can taste it and I am not able to revel in the joy of it because I am drowning in fear, worry and doubt. Fear I will get sick, worry that I cannot fit in the runs, and doubt that I will actually do it. I have lied to myself for years and I am sick and tired of it. I freaking want to win d@mn it! (sorry, I rarely cuss)
So here is to me breaking through a barrier I have had my whole life... See you at the other side of 100 miles!
2 comments:
JRo, who gives fear in the world? SATAN! who conquers fear in this world? CHRIST! which side are you running on?
I CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. Phil 4:13
That is your mantra until Christmas.
Laura, you took the words out of my mouth! Jennifer, all I can say is WOW!! I am in awe of you reaching this goal!
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