For the past few weeks I have been almost depressed. I say almost because I am not sad, and in the past I would be sad if I was depressed. I am so tired. So very tired. I can barely get myself out of bed in the mornings. Coffee does nothing. The past two days I have been in bed before 9pm. THAT is unheard of for me! It is doing no good. It is almost like the more sleep I get, the more tired I am. Today is slightly better than the last two days, but those were some of the worst days I have ever had. I told Sweet Love, and he said that something is going around. I seriously feel like I have the flu, but I am not sick. You know how you are so tired all you want to do is lay on the couch, with barely enough energy to push the remote control buttons? THAT is how I feel. *sigh* Also, I have been gaining weight! What? With all this running, you would THINK that I would be at least maintaining. I know I need to be eating better. But could it really be that simple? (Also I have only been this tired when I was pregnant, and I am NOT, or when my life was so stressed andI was gaining LOADS of weight, got up to 180 then... but I am not stressed out... hmm)
I know that as I have gotten older, little things have been making a bigger difference. I have to run a little harder and smarter. I must get sleep, MUST. If I lapse in my water intake, BOY does that make a difference. I actally HAVE to get enough fiber. Things like that. I guess I really do have to start getting Nazi like with my eating. I regularly do not eat anything until The Boy goes down for his nap (1PM). Bad, right? I have just been resisting it because I know that I tend to concentrate on that thing that I can control so well (eating 6 clean meals a day), that I lose sight of the REAL lessons I need to learn. (Like how to deal with emotional upheavals without drowning myself in sweets!) Maybe it will be harder to get too focused, since I now have a little one to distract me! At least he gets in a meal or two now before nap, but think how much better off he will be if mommy gives him a snack everytime she eats too?
Yep, maybe that is what I will have to do. I am just so scared to run off the real path. I gotta let some things go! Have any other ideas? I am so tired my heart almost feels heavy. It doesn't make me not get out and run or lift weights... but anything else, it just drags me down.
5 comments:
awe... sorry to hear .. hope your get your energy back soon!
Girl...you need some hormone cream, my fab fiber booster and a trip to the dr. to check things out (or at least rule out things like a thyroid problem)!
Ready? Ok...
First, dump all the friggen cereal out of your house. ALL! You can get fiber through fruit. Next, using a toddler as an excuse not to eat until 1pm is crap. I have TWO kids and still managed to have at least 2-3 meals by that time. Get off the track and focus on what you stated your goals for this year were. Your emotional well being. Be Nazi about learning about yourself, making yourself and family healthy by eating at proper times, teaching the boy about life and care through what you do. This is not like before when you have done BFL or whatever, this is life and you are taking it by the horns and saying "Enough, there is a "Me" in here and I want to know her better and see what all she can offer me."
I think you sooo sooo badly want to stay on the normal track of run, weights, eat, all about physical - b/c it's less challenging, than to steer into unknown territory. DO IT! You will fall in love with who God has created. I promise.
One last thing...yes, ween sugar appropriately but NO MORE OREOS!
Combine what Amy and Laura said, and you have what I was going to say. Thyroid, hormone cream, and SHOW your son how it's done. Do you take vitamins? Find one that offers an extra thyroid boost. If you can run and lift weights, then consider that the rest that is "dragging you down" may be your choice. Examine the fears you mentioned...they are grounded in something you've chosen to believe. Do you need to believe that to do what you want? Do you want to believe it? Can you find your motivation to stay afraid and use it to climb out of that hole of fear? Find the reason for how you feel and change it for yourself. You're the only one who can, but you CAN!
how you doin? :)
(wonderin)
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