New Year - New Goals

I am still here.. really I am! The whole holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year, but this last year it followed so closely on the heals of a very stressful couple of months for us. Since I like to ENJOY the holidays, I pretty much stayed away from the Internet and just did family and friend stuff. Believe me, even FaceBook felt lonely!

So now it is the new year. I love the new year. (I pretty much like any reason to celebrate or make something special!) I like the idea of starting new, making goals, dreaming.

This year, I have yet to do my little annual tradition of goal setting and dreaming. I know that a lot of what was on my list last year will be on this years list. Of course, this time I don't have to add half marathon since I finally got to do that one! YEAH!

I do know that there is one that has been on my list for the last 10 years. Yes.. TEN YEARS. Compete in a fitness, figure, or other related competition. I really keep thinking that this is the year for that. Yet I look at myself, all the failures of last year and the year before, and how far I have to go to get even close. It just makes me want to roll over, eat a cookie and go to bed. And then I remember what it felt like when I got to mile 13 of 13.1 miles. How it felt to see those spray painted numbers on that pavement. How I knew, that even if I fell and broke a leg, I could CRAWL across the finish line. How I finally realized that I COULD, and DID (what?) DID live through all that training, and that all I had to do was make another 100 steps and I would be there. It is still fresh like it was just last week. Then, I start to believe in me. Then, I start to dream about what color that silly bedazzled bikini would need to be. Then I start thinking about how I will need to get over myself and learn to pose in the mirror. Then I start to get a little excited about actually doing something that I know almost everyone that 'thinks' they know me would be SHOCKED to know I did. And that all the people that actually DO know me would laugh and say "What took you so long?". Then I get the same little butterflies in my tummy that I had when I saw that 13 spray painted on the cement.....

Oh, and another thing that has been on my list since I was 15.. yea, lets just say that was a bit more than 15 years ago! To adopt. I think we are going to just go for it. Sooo scary. I would rather paint myself in crazy black tanning stuff and wax things that just should not be waxed and strut myself on a stage in a bedazzled bikini then bring a social worker in my house to analyze if I should have adopted children in my house! So silly, right? I mean, really JRo. *sigh* Some things never change! LOL!