Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Adult Reality

Life gets away with us, doesn't it? Around here it has been crazy. This adult stuff is for the birds. Be a teenager.. stay that way while you are one. I promise your imagined trials are better than when you are an adult. And yet, I am pretty glad I am an adult. Even if I have to watch my friends marriages fall apart, and babies die, and husbands fall deathly ill. That would be just a taste of what the last 6 months have been like on my side of the computer!

HOWEVER. I have been thinking. And praying. And mulling life over in my head. I keep thinking about how I let life run me over and how I seem to like to play the victim. Granted I had great modeling as a child. But I am an adult now, I can chose how I deal with situations, right? Aren't I, as a child of the King, supposed to be able to deal with things better because I know the outcome is glorifying to my Father, and I have the Spirit to comfort and guide me? No matter what? Shouldn't time with Him, be more important than even time with my blessing of a family? Or better yet, self loathing? Or even working out and eating right?

And about that self loathing... I have been really into nutrition for a LONG time. But it is a lot harder to live it than to preach it. Being gluten free (since the birth of my second son over a year ago) has really helped. But after all this time, I am finding that I can find just as many NOT good for me treats as I used too! But I digress. How about instead of finding ways I can feed myself to 'deal' with the day (say a trip to Starbucks, or trying yet another brand of gluten free cookie in hopes of the magic yumminess cookies are with gluten!), I should FUEL myself to lovingly raise my family. You know, that family I always dreamed of, that God graciously gifted me. Yeah, that. And while I am fueling myself, instead of taking little short cuts and pretending to eat well, maybe I actually should. Maybe I should treat this earthly body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Remember how Solomon decked out the Tabernacle??? Oh yeah, maybe I should take 1/1000 of the care of myself that he did of God's house.

I keep walking past a mirror in my house and seeing how I stand, or actually, how I slouch. And how ill fitting my clothing are. And how tired and angry I look ALL. THE. TIME. And the saddest part of that, other than the fact that it has taken me 35.5 years to actually SEE myself in the mirror, is that I am NOT anything like what I look like! I am loving and a touch anal and actually like to get dressed well. I am lazy too, but the flip side is I am not fussy. I am quick to help out, eager and strong. Forever forgiving (of everyone but myself and the Post Office, but that is a whole other matter.) Instead of seeing this in the mirror, I see an angry, tired, frumpy, housewife with the WORST posture. Uh Oh.

So.. for the past few weeks, I have been more mindful of my posture. Getting better about my food choices (though making homemade ice cream is NOT doing me any favors!), and scouring the internet for new, fast, 'mom who has to workout WITH the kids' approved workouts. (That was surprisingly annoying to do since I just really don't think you should have to advertise the efficiency of your 'mom approved' workouts in something a string would give you more coverage in. Seriously, our nation takes it TOO far! Again with the digressing) I have found a few and tried them out. After the insanity that is spring break I am eager to get after it. I am planning to also find every way possible to burn some fuel all day. Maybe eventually I can give my insomnia a knock out punch and it will GO AWAY!

My hope is to find my passion for fitness and nutrition again. My husband does not plan on us having any more kids (though we still plan to adopt). So my nearest future now consists of a toddler and an elementary schooler. I REALLLYYYYY want my boys to know the value of a woman girded in strength. One who knows how to eat to fuel her body. One who will feed her children, their children, my grandchildren, good, healthy, mind and body building fuel! How better to teach them, than to do it myself.

Now I just have to do it, right!?!?! I am so sick of my own excuses. That is all this blog has been.. excuses.

Thursday, September 29, 2011


I know I've been gone.. still working toward that goal.. just not blogging about it.

Anyway... Fall is super busy for me so I have not been on the internet except to answer emails on my phone, and I have rarely gotten to watch any TV. Well yesterday I got some TV time. I had recorded some of those Extreme Couponing episodes. Wow, it is like watching Hoarders. You are horrified, fascinated, and even though your jaw is on the floor, you can stop watching! These people are CRAZY mad over their coupons. They spend at least 35 hours a week planning their shopping trips and gathering coupons. And personally, I can make more money an hour than they save, but whatever. The point is, these people, surrounded by their spreadsheets and 20lb binders full of coupons in their little storehouses of (junk) food they got for free... these people, they have PASSION. They LOVE doing this, LUV.

So, Ive been mulling it all over in my brain, not even sure what or why, when I saw something that reminded me of scrapbooking. Something I REALLY love to do. It has kinda been the last thing that is MINE that I have temporarily given up while I focus on my children and husband. I have some passion for that, but not what these people have. But I get that little happy, crazy giddy, butterfly feeling in my stomach when I think of creating.

And then it all hit me at once. I've been thinking about those crazy couponers because IIIIIIII want to be good at something that I have serious PASSION about. Wait.. I do have passion, about nutrition and health and fitness... it gets me excited and righteously angry and fueled up in so many ways. And I never have to work hard to remember any of it, it just STICKS in my brain. Then why doesn't it show? Why do I hold back? It is so much a passion of mine that I can't hold it in anymore. It just keeps leaking out and I am spilling all my knowledge on people and blindsiding them with information and zeal! Ha. Guess I need to mull that over for a while and find some reason to the 'why' I have not been embracing it and TEACHING it. Because I sure do KNOW it. And we even live it, but only 70%, I want some 95% lifestyle going on over here! haha

Gotta run.. my little one does this great toe propelled army crawl, but now he is into EVERYTHING!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Eats for 7-11

Hoping that pictures work for me.. who knows. I did a trial run on Friday and all I got were pictures of empty or half empty plates! ha.


noon (prettier BEFORE mixing)

2:30 because I am starving...

5pm, no picture, but I had a bubble tea drink from our local shop. It has rice milk in it, but it tastes like the milk left over from Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, so I am sure it is not all that great for me. I shoulda added some protein powder to it. I will try and remember next time I stop by there. I go every time I go to COSTCO. Not sure I know how to go to COSTCO without getting a bubble tea on the way home!

6:30 - Dinner (chicken from Oxygen Mag May 2011 I think)

Now that I look at that meal, I see not enough meat, too many (YUUUUMMMMMYYYY) potatoes, and too big of a plate. My hubby got my little 8 inch pie pan. Turd. He left me with the 9 inch one. Speaking of... have you guys every tried using a pie pan for a plate? We LOVE them. They keep sauces in so nicely. Helps the little guy not spill too. And I can buy such pretty antique pie pans for way cheaper than I can buy antique plates.

8:30, way too tall a glass of wine. It was a long afternoon. I am back to having a child with a witching hour. Anytime from 5:30 till 7:30 Liam is fussy and hard to deal with. Of course that is when I am making dinner, and trying to conserve what little energy I have left for my sweet hubby. It is hard, this season of life, but I don't mind. I want to soak up every minute of my precious boys. I struggle with making sure there is enough left over of me to give my husband at the end of the day. I don't want us to look at each other when our precious children are grown, and think there is nothing left. I want us to still be going strong. To be gross and disgusting and making out and talking dirty to each other just like my parents are! *gag* I know, I love hate that! haha

The only workout I got in today was our walk to and from the pool, and 25 minutes of playing on the Wii. I am trying to figure out where a workout fits best in our day. We are on a pretty good schedule now, so I should be able to figure it out in a week or two.

Ooooh, nearly forgot! I totally scored this beauty from the trash!

She doesn't look like much.. but wait.. see what happens when I clean 'er up!!!!

Ain't she perty? It was definitely left outside for a while. It looks all nice and antiqued if you get close. I like that... but I like old, well used things. Anyway, it was free, and it is HUGE, and I will use it in the garage to help me check my form when I work out! I am SO excited! I am off to research how to hang it on the wall now! That thing is HEAVY! I barely got it in the car! I am sure the people that put it to the curb got a great laugh watching me struggle gleefully with it! hahaha